Trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, vague descriptions of physical family fighting
So, obviously, the title I gave pretty much sums up my story. The one thing I really want people to take away is that you might think family fighting's not a big deal since "everyone's parents argue at some point" and "it happens to everyone's parents”, but it's far from okay for people to bottle feelings up like that.
Since I was little, my family rarely ever had a span of time longer than four to six months of peace. It was like a war. I've had to deal with constant screaming, kicking, punching, thuds, stomping around — just this black cloud of negativity that always looms over my house. My parents have a really hard time getting along and I've tried my best to get help and support, but ever since I could remember, it felt like I was the only one in the world who had parents like this. I'm a sophomore in high school — and I only fully realized in my freshman year of high school that I was not the only one with parents like this.
. . . ever since I could remember, it felt like I was the only one in the world who had parents like this.
For the majority of my life, it felt like I was struggling alone. I've struggled with finding the right group of friends — friends that I sought help from would only brush it off and not show the sympathy and support that I so desperately needed. Things got so bad that I was a bit suicidal in middle school. I struggled with depression and chronic anxiety — the latter of which I still struggle with today. Whenever I heard even faint voices in the living room, I had to plug my ears, turn up the volume of loud music, and sit by myself in my room, hyperventilating.
It's gotten a lot better after realizing that I actually wasn't the only one with parents who argued like this. Sure, it hasn't gotten any easier dealing with it, but finding friends who actually relate with me and understand where I'm coming from has helped immensely. With my story, I want to tell others who might also have family fights that it's a lot more common than they might think and they aren't alone. There are negative thoughts that may come and go and anxiety that might occupy your mind, but finding the right people who support and care about you can help more than words can describe.
. . . finding the right people who support and care about you can help more than words can describe.
One thing I want to make clear as well: just because something might be common doesn't belittle the fact that people still have their own issues. Just because family fighting might be common doesn't mean that it makes people's issues any less important; we all deserve the attention, support, and love that we might be lacking.
*Any names used in this story have been changed to preserve anonymity.
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